This is no easy thing

by jimowensjr

This is no easy thing,

still loving you,

trying to heal this foolish broken heart,

trying to wipe of the stains of my tears for what could have been,

for what should have been;

 

This is no easy thing, sitting here,

wondering about what’s left,

what’s left undone,

wondering if there is anything that will rid me of this soul ache,

this hollow despair deep that permeates my body and pierces my belly,

hoping there is some way to deceive my heart into believing that everything

will be right once again—someday;

wondering if there is truly a time for all things under the sun will be such a time for us,

and if there is when it might come

hoping there will come a time

that wonderful, glorious day,

that day when my foolish mind no longer enslaves my heart;

 

This is no easy thing, sitting here, waiting,

hoping that I will hear the soft reminder of your love in the bell’s tinkling,

but fearing you now belong to another, someone more worthy,

someone who will erase me from your memories,

someone who captured you because I could not see,

because I was afraid,

and when I lay down and wonder about the things I said,

or didn’t say,

because I was afraid,

because I feared loss, more than I understood gain,

because I feared the uncertainty within myself and feared for you in that uncertainty;

 

This is no easy thing, sitting here,

not knowing,

waiting,

hoping,

pleading with the fate and the gods that rule it,

this is no easy thing, sitting here.

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